Warning: Beware! The scandalous content can be murderous! (Although, thankfully, it can be the cause of your salvation!)

I remember my student days a couple of years ago when my overly social-media-active senior colleague asked me:       

“Are you on Facebook?” she asked.

                “No…” I replied. A pause followed; perhaps, she wondered whether I was lying.

                “In Whatsapp?”

                “No…” I shook my head, I could see her eyes widening.

                “In Twitter?”

                “Twitter?” I was puzzled, then showing off my vocabulary skills, blurted out, “Twitter as in ‘Birds twitter in the trees’?”

                No wonder, she rolled her eyes and threw me a look so characteristic of reminding me about the US President Trump’s signature style of condemning: “You are fired!”

                Well, that was years ago. To prevent myself going guilty from such shockingly withering looks from people, I worked hard and befriended virtual-friends in my life.

                Often when I look at the online profile of young people, I get to learn their social-degrees. Social-degrees, you might wonder. Yeah, consider these: In love with Quora, Active Facebook-er (boasting of over 1000 friends), obsessed You-tuber, tireless Twitter-guy, Terrific Tumbler, and what not!

                I mean, degrees like Engineer, Doctor, CA, Lawyer, etc, have become too much outdated. They sound dull and cliché and wouldn’t attract friends and followers. Would it?

                Speaking of Quora, out of curiosity, I recently joined this Question-Answer media. People say it’s a tremendous site where you can ask anything and get all your questions answered. Being a Chartered Accountant (well, that’s not a social-media degree!), I thought I can be of help to many misguided and confused CA students out there. Of course, I have been helping many in sites like CA club India and Tax Guru, so Quora was just another platform.

                Is CA really tough? - was the first question posed to me. Ah…what a perfect question too satiate my ego! I boastfully launched myself to pen my pride of being a CA and how (or how not) tough it is. And Voila! So many up-votes! I was on cloud nine!

                Satisfied, I waited for more questions. Next day, I received three answer requests in my email:

                Who earns more: CA or IITian?

                Can I use a calculator in CPT exams?

                I don’t want to become a CA. What to do?

                As I launched myself again to write, a small voice inside me nudged: Are you really helping people by answering them?

                Well, as I considered these questions, I thought that these were really the stupidest and silliest questions I have ever come across. I literally shouted the questioners: Why the hell would I compare a CA and an IITian to tell who earns more! Ask your examiner whether you can use a calculator or not, you fool! And if you don’t want to become a CA, go get some fresh air and do something worth with your life!

                Such childish questions! Indeed, once Quora helped me in finding good hotels around Delhi Railway station, but if you look at the majority of the questions, they are a sort of preposterous slush pile. Consider these questions, which are sure to piss you off:

                Who will win: Ravana versus Kansa?; Which is the best Shayari in this world?; How can I learn cooking?

                 Needless to say, I’ve stopped my urges to answer on Quora.

                People say that in the advent of social media and smartphones, children and teenagers are getting smarter. I very much agree to disagree. Imagine my surprise, when I read a survey about teenagers going into severe, clinical depression because they don’t receive many likes on Facebook than they expected! Could anything be so un-smarter than this?

                Social Media has connected us all claims many. Then why, on earth, the disease of loneliness is infesting millions of people. Considering the population on earth to be a whopping 7-billion, this indeed is a serious question we should ask to ourselves (and not on Quora!).

                And now, the conclusion. What? Am I not supposed to reveal the murderer lurking in social media? Well, speaking fearlessly, Social Media is itself a murderer, a very clever, cunning murderer. It has either killed or is killing something deep in us…I know many won’t agree. Probably I will get trolled on Twitter! (Oh, big deal!) or someone might un-friend me (oh, very big deal!).

                And yes! I do look forward to your likes, shares, comments!       

Yours Social-Media-ly

Saurav Somani

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