Its April 15th. I woke up in the morning at around 8 AM and I was heavily bleeding.
Blood was on the bed and on the floor. I was totally shocked. All my dreams wiped out, tears rolled my eyes. Oh God! Why again? My heart cried.
My heartbeat was loud enough that I can hear it. Shivam was still sleeping. I rushed to the balcony to pick the mop and cleaned all the blood on the floor. I didn't know how to say this to Shivam that again we lost our baby.
Phone rang. It was my dad's call, its his birthday today. I wiped my tears and lifted the phone. Dad asked few queries whether we woke up. But my eyes and ears got blurred and I was literally weeping while he was speaking. Tried to sound normal to him and answered his questions vaguely and wished him for Birthday. Then my Mom started speaking, I literally wanted to put my head on her lap and cry louder. What crime did I do? Why I am destined to swing between Hope and Despair? I tried to sound normal to her as well and hung up the phone.
I immediately rushed to the puja room and begged God to save my pregnancy. I cried a lot in Puja room recalling all the hurdles I went through to reach this stage of pregnancy.
Shivam woke up. I saw him in the hall, but couldn't utter a word to him. I was shivering. What would I say to him? How would I share this bad news with him? I just said that we would go to the hospital once today and went for bath without answering any of his questions. Immediately after stepping out of bathroom he asked me why hospital now, we have to go for checkup next week. Is there anything wrong? His face looked tense. I have to say that I bleeded in the morning, OH NO.. He disappointed. Quickly he also took bath and got ready and we started for hospital.
On the way to hospital, in car its horrific silence. Many questions coming and going in my mind. What would the doctor say? Would she say that we are sorry and baby is no more? What to do next? Will I be able to become a mother ever? Can I ever hold a baby in my hands. God, please help me. God please help me. I was chanting some shlokas very fast. We reached hospital. With my wet eyes, I told the receptionist what has happened today. In no time she arranged for my Sonography. I went for Sonography room and Shivam waited outside.
Doctor came in and asked what happened. I told her weeping, that I bleeded today. She said, Don't Worry I will check it and she took around 5-7 minutes. I kept chanting my shlokas faster and faster inside. Finally I asked doctor in shivering, Is there any issue Doctor? She immediately smiled and said, Don't worry, your baby is safe. Only thing I am checking is whether its a single baby or twins. I felt relaxed and continued chanting the shlokas. In couple of minutes, doctor said that its a Twin Pregnancy and asked Shivam to come in. Once Shivam is in, she helped him feel the heartbeat of both the babies and said that they are 6 weeks old. Prescribed low dose of Aspirin for 1 month for this bleeding issue. She asked me to be on bed rest only, because its a twin pregnancy and there is high risk of miscarriage. We both came out of hospital.
I thanked God many million times in my heart.
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